Monday, April 30, 2007
Across the Overland.
America is a big country and if you want to cross it in a few days you have to start early
much of the route is flat and straight (no, I don't know which lane I was aiming at either, I seem to be driving like a Canadian)
but there's lots to see. This flooding put me in mind of a car we saw one time in Colorado, it had been swept off the highway by a flash flood and was full of mud, paramedics were at the scene failing to revive the occupants. "Drowned at the wheel" seems a perverse way to go.
On that trip we had been in search of wild horses, we found plenty
but we also found a rolled truck on its side and three white trash kids looking scared. We towed the truck on to its wheels and helped them gather their stuff before they asked us to leave and to tell no one. They were lucky to be alive and, in a way they, like the horses, were figures iconic of America.
This guy, his Harley and his lack of helmet, also symbolize America.
I think he was in Iowa. Iowa seems like a low hassle kind of place, no helmet law, cigarettes so cheap that stores have to have a ten carton per day purchase limit to control the demand from visiting New Yorkers, beer in gas stations, wireless internet in highway rest stops, it's all very liveable, but also flat. Very very flat.
A less happy icon of modern day America is the feed lot. The cows look neither happy nor healthy tromping around in their lake of piss. We eat them anyway and it's probably safe to do so as the hormones and GM feed likely kill any organisms inside them.
Cows need water and so does corn. All along the highway we saw windmill driven wells sucking away at the Ogallala aquifer. One wonders if something shouldn't be done about all this irrigation and livestock feeding; eventually it'll endanger the greens of desert golf courses.
Railroads have made a come back in the US and we saw lots of long freight trains. There are a lot of trucks too and every now and then one of them is going slowly (60mph or so) causing a jam while others pass slightly less slowly (65mph or so).
Trucks shed tyres like snakes shed skins and the highway is littered with pieces; we came upon one large chunk on an on-ramp and had no choice but to go over it. That cost us a mud flap; the only piece to have fallen off the Land Yacht on the journey.
Unlike my companion, I'm not a huge fan of the big flat bit in the middle of the US. However, one thing that can't help but impress someone who's been in Canada for a while is the quality and availablity of the beer. Even in such places as North Platte NE and Michigan City IN the gas stations and convenience stores keep quality beers; Sierra Nevada, Fat Tire, Anchor Steam, Sam Adams and so on. Ontario's a bit of a wasteland for the beer drinker.
It's not just good domestic beer that's easily available, imports are everywhere too:
much of the route is flat and straight (no, I don't know which lane I was aiming at either, I seem to be driving like a Canadian)
but there's lots to see. This flooding put me in mind of a car we saw one time in Colorado, it had been swept off the highway by a flash flood and was full of mud, paramedics were at the scene failing to revive the occupants. "Drowned at the wheel" seems a perverse way to go.
On that trip we had been in search of wild horses, we found plenty
but we also found a rolled truck on its side and three white trash kids looking scared. We towed the truck on to its wheels and helped them gather their stuff before they asked us to leave and to tell no one. They were lucky to be alive and, in a way they, like the horses, were figures iconic of America.
This guy, his Harley and his lack of helmet, also symbolize America.
I think he was in Iowa. Iowa seems like a low hassle kind of place, no helmet law, cigarettes so cheap that stores have to have a ten carton per day purchase limit to control the demand from visiting New Yorkers, beer in gas stations, wireless internet in highway rest stops, it's all very liveable, but also flat. Very very flat.
A less happy icon of modern day America is the feed lot. The cows look neither happy nor healthy tromping around in their lake of piss. We eat them anyway and it's probably safe to do so as the hormones and GM feed likely kill any organisms inside them.
Cows need water and so does corn. All along the highway we saw windmill driven wells sucking away at the Ogallala aquifer. One wonders if something shouldn't be done about all this irrigation and livestock feeding; eventually it'll endanger the greens of desert golf courses.
Railroads have made a come back in the US and we saw lots of long freight trains. There are a lot of trucks too and every now and then one of them is going slowly (60mph or so) causing a jam while others pass slightly less slowly (65mph or so).
Trucks shed tyres like snakes shed skins and the highway is littered with pieces; we came upon one large chunk on an on-ramp and had no choice but to go over it. That cost us a mud flap; the only piece to have fallen off the Land Yacht on the journey.
Unlike my companion, I'm not a huge fan of the big flat bit in the middle of the US. However, one thing that can't help but impress someone who's been in Canada for a while is the quality and availablity of the beer. Even in such places as North Platte NE and Michigan City IN the gas stations and convenience stores keep quality beers; Sierra Nevada, Fat Tire, Anchor Steam, Sam Adams and so on. Ontario's a bit of a wasteland for the beer drinker.
It's not just good domestic beer that's easily available, imports are everywhere too:
Outlaw Sodomy
That's what the sign said. It was in the middle of a field. In Nebraska. It seemed to need a definition or an exclamation mark but neither was offered.
Nebraska isn't big on political correctness. This is part of an exhibit at Fort Cody celebrating the subjugation of the native people:
I don't know what to make of this, the people depicted didn't do well at preserving their freedoms so it may be mocking the present day Department of Homeland Security.
Indians are really just a sideshow at the fort anyway, it's not wooden figures that pull passers-by in from the highway. This is the real draw, this, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the two headed calf:
I liked Fort Cody, the overt racism and the absence of subtlety inherent in a freak show was of another time. It's a proper museum alright, just not a proper museum of the subject presented.
Nebraska isn't big on political correctness. This is part of an exhibit at Fort Cody celebrating the subjugation of the native people:
I don't know what to make of this, the people depicted didn't do well at preserving their freedoms so it may be mocking the present day Department of Homeland Security.
Indians are really just a sideshow at the fort anyway, it's not wooden figures that pull passers-by in from the highway. This is the real draw, this, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the two headed calf:
I liked Fort Cody, the overt racism and the absence of subtlety inherent in a freak show was of another time. It's a proper museum alright, just not a proper museum of the subject presented.
I Love America
It isn't something that someone of my political persuasion often admits, but I love this (er, that) country. I love the vast expanse of land and the way it changes as the miles play out in front of you. I love those changes, sometimes gradual and sometimes very sudden, from desert valley to high desert plateau, to mountains, to short grass prairie, to tall grass prairie (or, what would be tall grass prairie if it weren't all corn) to northern woods.
I love the people of America, even when they infuriate me. Edward Abbey wrote "I know my own nation the best. That's why I despise it the most. And know and love my own people too, the swine. I'm a patriot. A dangerous man." I respond, emotionally, to Americans and American politics in a way that I probably never will to Canadians and Canadian politics. That Steven Harper wants to ban gay marriage means very little to me. I have no connection to him, and I can't do anything about Canadian politics anyway. That a farmer in Nebraska felt so strongly about the issue as to put a large billboard in his field with the words "Outlaw Sodomy," however, affects me personally. I am hurt by his sentiment and embarrassed by his actions because we share a common bond.
I love the pride that Americans have in their own country, right down to the silly little flag stickers on the cars. After September 11, I began to count the number of American flags that I saw on the journey from the house in which I lived to the Texas Roadhouse, a bbq restaurant. The highest number that I ever counted along the 4.06 mile trip was 42. The only place that you're likely to see more waving and jingoistic display of a national flag is in the Occupied Territories. For so many people to care so much about one thing is really special.
I love the huge absurd ridiculosity of Vegas, and the tacky hokiness of Fort Cody. I love cowboy boots and tassely western wear. God help me, I even love McDonald's.
The Long Climb
And so off we went, towards Denver, Chicago and the rust belt.
This was, in a way, a nostalgic trip for me. We first met, in what's now called "real life", during a similar trip a few years back. At that time I had a new Mustang convertible and work to do in Vegas, I wanted to make something of a routine business trip and so drove with one of my daughters. Once we were done with Vegas we drove on to the sea so as to do the iconic thing and drive the open car in the surf. This blurry image is one of my favourite pictures, it shows us with a stoned out surfer dude we met on the beach, that's our cooler; he provided the board and the lesson and we provided the beer. We're doing something with our hands that surfers do or possibly something surfers have tourists do so as to make them figures of fun.
After the beach we toured some national parks and then, as one does in strange parts of the world, we went for a quiet beer with a fellow Gruniad poster. How it came to be that I and that very poster later found ourselves in an ancient truck loaded with discount equine supplies headed for Canada will, no doubt, unfold in the blog equivalent of flashbacks. For now let's just say that events took a wonderful but totally unexpected turn.
We had started the climb pretty far down the Western Slope and so it was a long haul
up
and up
and up
and up
to the tunnel
and out on the other side
after that it's all downhill....
The Land Cruiser ran like a top. It would, of course, it had less than 130,000 miles on the clock. It's not fabulously economical though averaging 14.5 mpg (US), that's 17.5 imperial, across the states. Fortunately we brought it to Canada where fuel consumption is too difficult to calculate and so not something to worry about.
This was, in a way, a nostalgic trip for me. We first met, in what's now called "real life", during a similar trip a few years back. At that time I had a new Mustang convertible and work to do in Vegas, I wanted to make something of a routine business trip and so drove with one of my daughters. Once we were done with Vegas we drove on to the sea so as to do the iconic thing and drive the open car in the surf. This blurry image is one of my favourite pictures, it shows us with a stoned out surfer dude we met on the beach, that's our cooler; he provided the board and the lesson and we provided the beer. We're doing something with our hands that surfers do or possibly something surfers have tourists do so as to make them figures of fun.
After the beach we toured some national parks and then, as one does in strange parts of the world, we went for a quiet beer with a fellow Gruniad poster. How it came to be that I and that very poster later found ourselves in an ancient truck loaded with discount equine supplies headed for Canada will, no doubt, unfold in the blog equivalent of flashbacks. For now let's just say that events took a wonderful but totally unexpected turn.
We had started the climb pretty far down the Western Slope and so it was a long haul
up
and up
and up
and up
to the tunnel
and out on the other side
after that it's all downhill....
The Land Cruiser ran like a top. It would, of course, it had less than 130,000 miles on the clock. It's not fabulously economical though averaging 14.5 mpg (US), that's 17.5 imperial, across the states. Fortunately we brought it to Canada where fuel consumption is too difficult to calculate and so not something to worry about.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Diet.
These days Vegas is all about dishes like oven baked strawberries served with balsamic vinegar and blue cheese or Champagne quaffed with a seafood platter. One can live on that stuff but, after a while, it's a joy to get back to proper dinners.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Plagiarism
Someone wrote us a little poem, it's probably copyrighted by the Gruaniad but we liked it:
DuckTack - 09:10pm Apr 24, 2007 GMT (#171 of 173)
All together now!
Whiiiiiite acres is the place for me.
Snow right up to the eaves I see.
Ice spreading out so far and wide
that our Donkey slipped and died.
Keep the Belagio,
Give me Canadian Countryside.
Laaaaaaaas Vegas,
Is where I'd rather stay,
I get allergic to dead birds all day,
Hate the tractor 'cos it's far too big.
Dahling! I love you,
But you're a thoughtless little pig.
DuckTack - 09:10pm Apr 24, 2007 GMT (#171 of 173)
All together now!
Whiiiiiite acres is the place for me.
Snow right up to the eaves I see.
Ice spreading out so far and wide
that our Donkey slipped and died.
Keep the Belagio,
Give me Canadian Countryside.
Laaaaaaaas Vegas,
Is where I'd rather stay,
I get allergic to dead birds all day,
Hate the tractor 'cos it's far too big.
Dahling! I love you,
But you're a thoughtless little pig.
Shocking!
We flew to Vegas and along the way something totally unexpected happened. Something really quite shocking. The weather was stormy and the plane was late. Planes are often late, most airlines announce "plane late, due to weather, tough". Air Canada announces "plane late, due to weather, you're stuck, ha ha ha!" followed by "l'avion est en retard c'est a cause du temps haha!" and, if you're really lucky, the same in Spanish.
Allegiant didn't do that. Allegiant expressed sympathy for the plight of the passengers and, while making it clear that they don't control the weather, apologized for the delay. Allegiant brought sodas, cups and ice. Like most of the passengers we were taken aback and reached for our camera. Obviously it's hard to take a good picture when your hands are trembling with excitement but this is free pop provided by an airline by way of compensation for a late departure:
Allegiant didn't do that. Allegiant expressed sympathy for the plight of the passengers and, while making it clear that they don't control the weather, apologized for the delay. Allegiant brought sodas, cups and ice. Like most of the passengers we were taken aback and reached for our camera. Obviously it's hard to take a good picture when your hands are trembling with excitement but this is free pop provided by an airline by way of compensation for a late departure:
Vegas is how it is, masses of warehouses in the middle of the desert with a strip of casinos in the middle, each tackier than the next.
Nice pools though.
We'd had enough of staying under fake setting suns by fake canels, in fake pyramids and under fake Eiffel Towers so this time we opted for a hotel with a more restrained decor, a place that echoed the timeless charm of, er, well, Disney perhaps.
All this vegetation in colours enhanced from nature made me nostalgic for the Opryland Hotel. I wanted a country and western harpist wearing one of Liberace's cast off costumes to again descend from the heavens on wires and serenade us through breakfast. At least, I wanted to laugh that hard again.
Nice pools though.
We'd had enough of staying under fake setting suns by fake canels, in fake pyramids and under fake Eiffel Towers so this time we opted for a hotel with a more restrained decor, a place that echoed the timeless charm of, er, well, Disney perhaps.
All this vegetation in colours enhanced from nature made me nostalgic for the Opryland Hotel. I wanted a country and western harpist wearing one of Liberace's cast off costumes to again descend from the heavens on wires and serenade us through breakfast. At least, I wanted to laugh that hard again.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Heirloom.
One of those trips to Vegas came up and, as long as we were going there we diverted to collect the heirloom:
that looks a bit more farmy than a Beetle and should hold a dozen small squares.
We stopped to load it up before Vegas and expect to come back, tumble into it and drive off home. We might be a bit worn after half a week in the city of sin so practising driving beforehand seemed sensible. We headed for the BLM lands on the edge of town:
A fine machine for offroading but, it has to said, not very fast and equipped with a dodgy fuel gauge. It's not ideally suited to the Interstate so we expect to take a while to cross the country using the sort of secondary roads shown below. We'll be especially slow since we'll have to stop often for gas and to see every two headed beast with roadside signage.
that looks a bit more farmy than a Beetle and should hold a dozen small squares.
We stopped to load it up before Vegas and expect to come back, tumble into it and drive off home. We might be a bit worn after half a week in the city of sin so practising driving beforehand seemed sensible. We headed for the BLM lands on the edge of town:
A fine machine for offroading but, it has to said, not very fast and equipped with a dodgy fuel gauge. It's not ideally suited to the Interstate so we expect to take a while to cross the country using the sort of secondary roads shown below. We'll be especially slow since we'll have to stop often for gas and to see every two headed beast with roadside signage.
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